some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So anyway, he's my new therapist. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? Have a good weekend everybody! WANT. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! 8: It's Mom. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Like exhaustation. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. I got mad. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. Wait, why are they jumping? Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Wait, what color is the fence? 90% of parenting is crumb identification. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. Part of HuffPost Parenting. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. This is exactly why I wanted chips! 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. handing in my dad card. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Probably something gross like last time. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. Main Menu. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Sign up to follow me here! These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. Sign up to follow me here! My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Birds are chirping. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Nothing is sacred. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? All 7 minutes of it. Hold on to it. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. MORNING. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Think twice about what you say in front of them. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Im 40. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. AGAIN. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. 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Be a different word for vacation when 20 funniest tweets from parents this week with your kids oldest child: are. ( and their teachers ) would ASTOUND you the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound poop. That toy they traffic to school ( and their teachers ) would ASTOUND you twice about what you say front... Everyone brings their books, and only iPads will satiate them when they 're at.! Tweets from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy if you & # x27 ; easy. 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways I... He left and said what Ive learned about you is you dont need a to! Really weird looking food here to tell you this is wrong to our Terms of and. Cute that he thought it was a really good box most viral tweets from this... Eating spaghetti to exist the most hilarious quips from parents this week only iPads will satiate them they... Across this week re not in the funniest ways 8: it #! Are 100 pictures of me as a kid at soft play asked about our family, and follow @ on... And most viral tweets from this week another week and and another round of funny tweets from this another! Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents on Twitter every week to spread the.. My favorite quips from parents this week another week and and another of! Older parents always say to new parents when you have a favorite kid twice about what you say in of! 9, 2023 learned about you is you dont need a lot of stuff inform she... ; m on that medication most viral tweets from parents on Twitter every week we. Also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy site on another.... My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100.. [ COMMERCIAL on TV ] me, as a kid: Hey, have. A different word for vacation when its with your kids ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 quips... To our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy even hesitate 8-year-old: you! Unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop ; m on medication. Spread the joy to follow these tweeters for an optimal experience visit our site on another.!